It Takes Two to Tango

Salam and good day.

Ahhh.... What a relief! Alhamdulillah.
I was battling with a couple of due dates for the past few days (ohh mine, l love pressure - positive pressure). What else, conference papers, year-end report, and technical documentations. Not to mention a couple of nasty intentions to smuggle those workstations back home. Alhamdulillah, everything ends, on time (or earlier). and with a good news. My paper has been accepted for the conference in Taiwan this coming June. Well, double happiness - means i have a chance to hit Malaysia as well. Oh, mine .... barely wait for that time to come. Nasi dagang and nasi kerabu, here i come.
......
anyway, let's talk about "it takes two to tango". (why tango? i bet it just sounds euphony, not more , not less. i wish it could be dangdut then ..ha ha ha). "it takes two to tango" literally means - "this cannot happen without more than one person". As a social species, human interacts with their environment to seek companionship, to find comfort or even to manipulate others. No man is an island they said. As i am investigating a couple of theories in social interaction and support, i have found human tends to comfort their partners / friends in a way that may exaggerate the beliefs and thinking of the others. (i am considering myself more likely to a cognitive scientist, rather than being a typical computer scientist - yeahhh my robot needs a human touch within!),

Kucing: Pokcik, i am depressed laa ...
Pakcik: cehh, mung pun nak depress jugak kaa..

Thing will be different for those with a history of depression. They developed a negative thought, called "dysphoric depressogenic thought" when they were exepriencing onset. While many of us will think that to give a support is just like pay them a visit, or have fun, but the truth is, it does not help much. Or even worse, we are trying to be truthful to them by saying something that might eventually exaggerate the effect. Corrective feedback is crucial, but it should always be in a positive way. The provision of alternative is equally important rather than to be simply judgemental. For depressed people, rather than saying "forget about the problem, let's chill out" it may sounds nice, but you are not helping at all. What they need is simple, - a possitive thought that may rekindle his/her spirit, and by having this, it will lessen the risk of developing another dysphoric depressogenic thought. (ohh man, sounds too much?). Try to solve the problem by avoiding it, it may be working for a very short period of time. But, as time flies, it may escalate the risk of having a new one.

So why it has something to do with "it takes two to tango" ?
It is simple - sometimes we are the culprit behind someone else's problems. A simple stop would be a better option. Ohh, i wish i could be helpful in that way. *anyway, i did learn to dance tango last week ..ha ha ha..

Pakcik said: "inferential feedback, bifurcation attractors, stupid robot... what's next?" ..heh..heh..heh , wait a minute, - to my sister Pn Azizah Ab Aziz- warmest wishes for your birthday today (sweet 17 sokmo ye?). Age is whatever you think it is, and it takes a long time to grow young - you're not getting older, but getting wiser. Believe me (* What ? nak hadiah beg Louis Vuitton kaaa ....kena kerja part time cuci tandas la adikmu nanti! * sigh*).